“All right,” shouted Aragon. “Don’t nobody move!”
“Wait,” said the teacher. “Do you mean that we should move? That’s a double negative you know.”
“You moved!” Aragon shouted as he conjured up a blast of eldritch flame, instantly incinerating the old man. “Now then Magus,” he said while pointing at a crying little girl with pigtails, “kill that kid.”
“But… she’s just a little girl!” said Magus.
“And?” responded Aragon. “She moved.”
“No,” said Magus. “It’s wrong. I may not be much of a hero but I have to stand up against something.”
“You know,” said Aragon, ignoring Magus’s previous comment. “There was a butcher I knew once. Out of fear, in an attempt to save his family, he betrayed my brother. For that, he lost his eyes. But you know what? That wasn’t enough. By the time I was done with him, he had lost everything. His friends, his home, his family, and his way of life. I left him in the middle of the desert, eternally starving yet unable to die, until the geas I put on him drew him into the tender mercy of the elves. Are you sure you want to risk that?”
“Not only shall he risk it,” said Petrov, “But I shall risk it at his side. Magus, you have my axe.”
“And my sword,” said Ærin.
“And my dagger,” said Abda.
Magus looked up at Aragon and said “Your move.”
“Very well.” Suddenly, Aragon jumped, arcing over them in a leap that would have been really dramatic if it wasn’t for the really low celling in that building. As is, he hit his head on a rafter and knocked himself out.
“That was anticlimactic,” said Magus.
Then, inside his head came a thought that was not his own. The voice screeched, resonating with power before shouting “Good, for the worst is yet to come!” Then, there was the sound of breaking wood, as the roof was ripped off and flung aside by some creature larger than a house, with claws like knives and breath like a jet engine. Its scaly, reptilian hide was dyed a midnight blue, and its eyes glowed as red as the fires of hell.
“A dragon?” said Magus. “Really? After what we did to the scorpion a few pages ago? Antimagic-”
“No,” said the voice, behind which ran an intelligence so ancient and powerful that it almost destroyed Magus’s mind on the spot. This was a creature so outlandish, so alien to normal human thought, that being connected to it would by all rights drive a man mad.
“Look, will you stop that. You may be the narrator, but that doesn’t mean you can describe how I’m feeling. Last gig I got was in a story written by a Lovecraft fan, so unless you have a blasphemous abomination with eight ever screaming mouths that devours its enemies whole and digests them while they still live, there’s no way you’re going to scare me.”
Hey, that’s actually a very good idea.
“See? You’re giving him ideas,” said Ærin. “Please shut up now.”
“You do realize that I’m still here, right?”
“Hush now,” said Magus. “The grownups are talking.”
“I shall hush when you are in your graves!” said the dragon as its mouth opened, revealing the glowing pilot light deep behind its uvula.
“Look,” said Magus, “You can’t flame us. It’ll kill Aragon too.”
“Hrmmm…” muttered the dragon. Then, it lowered its claw onto Magus, pinning him to the ground so that it would only have to move an inch in order to decapitate him. “You have a point.” It said.
“May I have some last words?” said Magus.
“Very well,” the dragon murmured. “But make it quick.”
“Consilium meum consilium asinum detractum!”
Then, as Magus spat out those words, both he and his comrades disappeared!
“How the hell did they get away?” thought the dragon.
“A wizard did it,” Aragon thought back.